jayivan

to get over a
broken heart slice into your
chest and cut it out

what it is
is what it will be
and not even that
is up to me

–

what it is

is what it will be—

not like that’s up

to you or me

silence isnt golden
its diamond sharp

why am i pursuing you?
im curious to discover too

you may not have left,
how would i know? people, they
just come——then go

enough with the dark
what a fucking lark

a hungry heart
aint love smart

this persistance,
just insistence

those wings,
just rings

i open my throat
—and out it flows:
it’s ceaseless, the words—
but only soundless—i grow—

when you return from where youve gone
i’ll welcome you back with open arms

though i cant pretend i haven’t been
missing each then that’s never a when

but a love that eats its tail too quick
will only make the loved one sick

since really, it’s such a selfish thing
to insist a song for what you sing

ever fall in love too soon
and every moon’s a blue moon?

the waiting is full
of fears, so i stop waiting,
fill that wait with feels

id let it pass
but it holds so fast

this urge
prevents a purge

youre
free as air
(or is that care?)
but
im
thick as honey, baby
(or is that hunger accompanying)

when i woke behind
the mirror’s forward face
i thought love would outpace
quantum explosions in space

when fingers merge
into your curves
this fervent urge
grows encouraged

the peachfuzz spray
the quiet tremble
spit & semen
disassemble