jayivan

Finally unpacked my suitcase from Berlin. Really missing it, me there, us there, the other people there. To come home to the
slaughter we did…I’ve had a hard time getting present, or rather, was so fully present that I had to leave that bag packed, to remember some wonderful times, still fresh, the bright nights of beauty and grit, I didn’t want to undo that, always something better to do, but come on, it’s time, remembering has turned to longing and jealousy (cocktail weekend oof), so had to unpack, and feel more present and forward facing, but then I look forward, and I’m still feeling so fucked about this country and where we are and where so many of us want to take it, and the spirit of Berlin and the minds the best parts of it attracts, that spirit calls out to me and I know it calls out an energy that’s already inside me regardless where I am or who runs what but all it does is call call call.